On national parks (The New York Times Magazine); on nudists (Racked); on translating SpongeBob SquarePants to Broadway (The Outline); on the California Superbloom (New Yorker, online); on squats (New Yorker, online); on slime (New Yorker, online); on dealing drugs in self-driving cars (New York Times Magazine); on boating with boomers through the Okeechobee Canal (New York Times Magazine); on SUPERFOODS (New York Times Magazine); on Barbara Kruger, hypebeasts, and Supreme (New Yorker, online); on America's most beautiful freeway interchange (No Man's Land, print only); on noted teen eccentric Lil Yachty (New York Times Magazine); on #influencers (WIRED); on bus fiends (New Yorker, online); on amateur dermatology (New Yorker, online)
On my very first sip of Coca-Cola* (Eater); on millennials watching cat videos for pay (New York Times Magazine); on hoarding empty yogurt containers (Lucky Peach); on Fetty Wap (New York Times Magazine); on becoming a hat person (NY Mag)
*Nominated for a 2017 James Beard Award; 2017 AFJ Awards finalist
On visiting the world's largest drugstore (Vice); on plugging your ears with foam (New York Times Magazine); on fourth-wave coffee (The Hairpin); on extreme self care for modern ladies (Vice); on the parallel holes of Instagram and depression (Medium's The Message); on revenge for millennials (The Awl); on the penis on page 602 of the 1975 Fall/Winter Sears catalog (Medium's The Message); on optimizing your flesh prison (The Awl); on scented candles and self-actualization (NY Mag); on sweating (NY Mag); on assplay (Gawker); on God (The Awl)
I also write sometimes for the good 'n zany New York Times Kids Section, which is print only.
I write moderately about the best way to arrange the time before death. Frequently this writing is funny, though that's usually incidental. Due to popular demand, I have honed a few rudimentary reporting techniques and can now skate by as a serious journalist. In any case, I try to do work that entertains people and makes them feel calm and smart.
born New Year's Day '92
KEILES is pronounced KAY-liss