>>> This is the portfolio of writer Jamie Lauren Keiles. <<<


my very best work


On my very first sip of Coca-Cola* (Eater); on viral meme-turned-rapper Bhad Bhabie (New York Times Magazine); on waiting in line (Racked); on the Balenciaga Triple S sneaker (SSENSE); on nudists (Racked); on Phillip Roth, Juicy Couture, and the Jewish American Princess (Vox); on the California Superbloom (New Yorker, online); on optimizing your flesh prison (The Awl); on squats (New Yorker, online); on the parallel holes of Instagram and depression (Medium)

*Nominated for a 2017 James Beard Award; 2017 AFJ Awards finalist

my other also good work



On polar fleece (SSENSE); on free snacks at work (New York Times Styles); on Juice WRLD, hip-hop, and emo (New York Times Magazine).


On professional wedding proposal planners (New York Times Magazine); on Cardi B (New York Times Magazine); on the Overwatch League Grand Finals (Thrillist); on making your smartphone dumber (GQ); on private security for the rich but not famous (TOPIC); on treadmill running in virtual reality (Outside); on Narcan (The Outline); on hand-painted advertisements (New York Times Styles); on new technology for queers seeking queers (New York Times Styles); on oyster farming (Saveur); on marble carving (No Man's Land, print only)


On national parks (The New York Times Magazine); on translating SpongeBob SquarePants to Broadway (The Outline); ; on slime (New Yorker, online); on dealing drugs in self-driving cars (New York Times Magazine); on boating with boomers through the Okeechobee Canal (New York Times Magazine); on SUPERFOODS (New York Times Magazine); on Barbara Kruger, hypebeasts, and Supreme (New Yorker, online); on America's most beautiful freeway interchange (No Man's Land, print only); on noted teen eccentric Lil Yachty (New York Times Magazine); on #influencers (WIRED); on bus fiends (New Yorker, online); on amateur dermatology (New Yorker, online) 


On millennials watching cat videos for pay (New York Times Magazine); on hoarding empty yogurt containers (Lucky Peach); on Fetty Wap (New York Times Magazine); on becoming a hat person (NY Mag


On visiting the world's largest drugstore (Vice); on plugging your ears with foam (New York Times Magazine); on fourth-wave coffee (The Hairpin); on extreme self care for modern ladies (Vice);; on revenge for millennials (The Awl); on the penis on page 602 of the 1975 Fall/Winter Sears catalog (Medium's The Message); on scented candles and self-actualization (NY Mag); on sweating (NY Mag); on assplay (Gawker); on God (The Awl)

*I also write sometimes for the good 'n zany New York Times Labs Section, which is print only.  



I teach an occasional basics of freelance writing class, sometimes alone and sometimes in collaboration with my friend and editor Leah Finnegan. The workshop covers all the basics of pitching ideas, working with editors, and asking for money.  To bring us to your college or writing group, drop me an email at jamiekeiles@gmail. Upcoming and prior dates are listed below:     


None right now! Check back soon.


February @ The University of Georgia Grady School of Journalism
February @ Catapult NYC

Nov 17 + Dec 1 @ Sarah Lawrence College
Nov 26 @ Queens Public Library (Main Branch)
Nov 9 @ The University of Chicago
Sept 8 @ Queens Public Library (Ridgewood Branch)
Jun/Jul @ Catapult NYC
May 4 @ The University of Chicago

I've written some blog posts about freelance writing here, here, here, and here

 contact info


✎ Based in Queens, New York; email, if you must, can go to jamiekeiles@gmail
✎ My tweets are here; my Insta is here; here is my very irregular newsletter about shopping
✎ Represented by Marya Spence at Janklow & Nesbit

 about me


I write moderately about the best way to arrange the time before death. Frequently this writing is funny, though that's usually incidental. Due to popular demand, I have honed a few rudimentary reporting techniques and can now skate by as a serious journalist. In any case, I try to do work that entertains people and makes them feel calm and smart. 

born New Year's Day '92
KEILES is pronounced KAY-liss

✎ On podcasts: talking about depression, talking about SpongeBob.  
Here is a list of books I'm reading.

Pic by Rachel Lisner